Knowing Me Week 3: Role Models
Thanks for joining me again for 10 minutes as we continue using small pauses in our day to get to know ourselves better. Today we are thinking about formative role models
Find a quiet space with a pen and paper and join me.
For 5 minutes or so, give yourself permission to stop what you’re doing and think. Bring to your mind someone, who was not your primary carer and whom you trusted and loved being with when you were younger (perhaps this is a relative, a friend, a friend of your parents, etc)
Spend a moment remembering your time with that person, visualize your interactions. Listen again inside your head to your exchanges and think about how you felt when you were with that person.
What was it about that person?
Make two columns one titled DO and the other FEEL. Answer the following two questions, thinking as you do about their behaviours and attitudes:
What did they do that you liked so much?
How did you feel?
Now you have two lists. Re read them and make sure you have written the most important things.
What about you?
Once you have your lists ask yourself:
- Who are the people in my life who need to trust and rely on me in some way?
- How much do I mirror the behaviours I have valued in my lists?
In studies on role models (see John Whitmore, Coaching for Performance) the same words are often repeated:
DO? The person: Listened to me; Believed in me; Challenged me; Trusted me; Respected me; Gave me time and attention; Treated me as an equal
Feel? Special; Value; Confident; Safe/Cared for; Supported; Able; Fun/enthusiasm; Supported
The Way Forward
Compare your list with those from the research. Are yours similar? How well do you offer this to those who look to you for guidance and support? What is ONE THING you could do to be even better?
To find out more about coaching CONTACT ME and we can discuss your needs.
Please let me know how you got on or improvements you would make. See you next week!